Clueless

I didn’t sign up for this

I surely expected better than this

Being just a kid is what I miss the most

Life was so easy there could be no better times than those

Growing up was the trap I set foot on

Being in bed is when I’m the happiest with my covers on

How I wish it could get easier

But my dreams never cease to get bigger.

***

Alone in my thoughts is my new hobby now

Killing my insomnia I’ve not figured out how

The world is revolving too fast I can’t even keep up

Not a quarter of my goals have hope of ever being done

A whole folder on my phone of quotes to sooth my soul

It’s the only relief that makes me feel whole

But a part of me is still wishing

As I force myself to adopt praying.

***

I want to get rich by twenty six

Three years remaining and I still don’t have that niche

Don’t get me wrong I’m working in a routine job

The eight to five kinda thing I will always loathe

I do not fancy being under people’s control

I’m just being tolerant as I wait to be on a roll

And keeping my faith as I have always been told

Oh Lord my sighing gets harder as the days and weeks move on.

***

I crave adventures I can hardly forget

I crave a career I can never regret

I crave a love that can keep me awake

I crave a life that’s worthy of being a goal to get

How to get there is a road with no end

But I can’t seem to have any idea on the beginning yet

“What should I do?” I keep asking myself

But every day I wake with no clue to keep my heart at rest.

***

The twenties can be absolutely the hardest

Not because I’m so poor that I’m living in a nest

But being a young woman with a novel-long list of dreams

With no clue whatsoever on what step to take for the same to live

And social anxiety and fear of seeking a helping hand at least

And not enough paper to help you hold the wheel

And settling for whatever comes just to keep you at ease

Is not exactly as easy as many make it seem.

***

I feel tired just thinking about this

I want to live and feel like my days end with a mind full of peace

Inhaling and exhaling deep just to relax my nerves

When I feel like my world is heading to a dead end with all these stuff

Begging my God to shine a light at the end of my tunnel

Trying not to overthink that I can’t see and hence stumble

Taking things easy like one of my saved quotes says in one of my galleries

Having your shit together is not for the twenties.

***

~Maryann❤